I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
