So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
