"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
