his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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