This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
