dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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