My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
