Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
