Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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