Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
don't judge my taste in strippers
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
