Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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