I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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