He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
