The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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