Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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