Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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