she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
