He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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