i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
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