My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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