This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
