don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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