is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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