If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize