I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
