I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
