Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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