I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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