do herpes really smell.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
