you win again, gameday.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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