I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Panties = found
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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