i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
