wat bout pragnant strippers??
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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