But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
