so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
handjob tips. give me some.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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