uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
