I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
