She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
