I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
