whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
