At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
