please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
