if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
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