Where is the hickey?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
