My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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