Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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