Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
