No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
