I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So vagazzling was a success
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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