It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
