My balls are so social today.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize