did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
