so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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