I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
