did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
