I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
