my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
