whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I want her autograph on my taint
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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