Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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