Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis

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(719): View more from Colorado

Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night

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(512): View more from Texas

I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(301): View more from Maryland

That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?

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(615): View more from Tennessee

The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"

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(913): View more from Kansas

Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.

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