brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time