Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
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Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
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And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.