A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex