you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
