So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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