I would go down on you faster than GM stock
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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