Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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